She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
