none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
