You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
