i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
