she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize