In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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