who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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