HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
handjob tips. give me some.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
