My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Randomize
