I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
