He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
