i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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