the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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