Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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