Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
