My friends, they love my intelligence
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
