is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
