he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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