She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
