You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
In America we eat man semen.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
