singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
