you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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