if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
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Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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