party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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