You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
