You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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