Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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