i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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