he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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