i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
