So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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