dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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