I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize