Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
