I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
