I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
