Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The air was thick with penises
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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