I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
