I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize