I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
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