What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
