Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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