are you still at the devil's house?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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