I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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