I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
