If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize