Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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