so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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