cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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