shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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