I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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