Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to sanitize my soul.
These tits shall not be calmed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
