I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I think I died a long time ago.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
