She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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