So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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