Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
