There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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