Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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