I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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