Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
