good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
