I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
