I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
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He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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