butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dignity is for republicans.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
